


Misstep

by Leikar



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Cultural Differences, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, POV Second Person, Post-Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation, Someone stop me, anyway I hope you like it, being xander is suffering, the author also researches too much about irrelevant details, the author got FRUSTRATED writing how oblivious these two idiots are to their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-06 21:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leikar/pseuds/Leikar
Summary: You weren't entirely sure how your attraction to the Hoshidan Prince had started, but it was slowly making your life spiral out of control.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> His fic grabbed me by the throat and didn't let me live for a week until I finished writting it. I've never writen or even thought of writing a Fates fic before, but I guess my brain decided I Had To. 
> 
> But it was really fun to write, and there will be a second chapter! So, see ya!

You woke up with a jolt, panting, with your eyes wide. Your body was tense, covered in sweat and terribly hot. You still felt the ghost sensation of touches, kisses, bites shrouding all over your body; sensations your wild imagination had provided in your sleep.

It took you a little time to relocate yourself, to realize you weren't in a room that looked like a strange mix between the Shirasagi castle and the tents you had used during the campaign against Valla. To realize that you actually were alone in your own private chambers of the Nohrian castle, and not with the intimate company of the Hoshidan prince.

You would have sighed and dismissed the dream if it had been any other kind of dream. But you were horribly hard and your body begged for release. So you clenched your teeth and grabbed your own throat with one hand to muffle your sounds while you used the other to softly stroke yourself, continuing the dream where you had left it, and trying to convince yourself it wasn't your own hand, but one thinner, softer. One that not only knew the way of the sword and the arts of war, but also the delicacy of poetry about nature and seasons and the art of ceremonial tea.

You came incredibly fast, and you were incredibly ashamed of yourself. You were supposed to be a mature adult that would soon govern a country, not some teenager with a crush on the prettiest girl of the village. You were going to be a king.  _ He  _ was going to be a king. Kings of countries that had been at war for so long it would take generations to mend the wounds they had inflicted on each other. You both were to marry and have children that would continue the royal bloodline. You weren't even sure of how he would react if you ever told him about it. Your imagination only provided two scenarios: disgust or pity. You didn't know which was worse.

It was still early, but you knew you wouldn't fall asleep again, so you sighed and got closer to the water jar to clean yourself and prepare for the day.

* * *

You weren't entirely sure how it had started.

Corrin left Nohr, but didn't join Hoshido. Panicked rumours started to spread, saying they planned to make an army that would take over the world, only for them to fight both you and Ryoma until you would listen to them and let them tell you to go to the Bottomless Canyon, where they would explain everything. You had always found it hard to believe that Corrin would attack you, and the strange behaviour your father had started to show was the push you needed to accept Corrin's proposal and go to the Canyon, for the sake of your country.

A small Hoshidan detachment, lead by Ryoma, had been there as well, and both countries joined into a single army, fighting together for the same purpose of killing Anankos and saving their nations. It was not a joining without tensions, but knowing both Nohrian princesses and the youngest Hoshidan prince and princess had already been fighting together helped ease the potential distrust among them.

You were approached by Ryoma proposing a truce between both of your nations for the sake of your survival in Valla, and you accepted immediately. Fighting each other in such a situation would be nonsense, after all.

Once you arrived at the army you saw how your little sister had already become a great friend to the princess Sakura. It wasn't strange given how friendly Elise usually was, but it made apparent to you the respectful yet distant way you treated the Hoshidans. Having good intentions and joining for the same cause was a good start, but actually growing closer after so much pain was hard, and it would possibly take time they didn't have the luxury to take. You noticed a similar behaviour on the older Hoshidan prince and princess, so you were greatly surprised when Ryoma approached you two days later and asked you to train with him. Both of you were strong, for sure, but your fighting styles were so different it was hard to believe any of them would be able to learn something useful about combat in such little time. You couldn't help but voice your doubts, and you saw how the Hoshidan prince grew slightly uncomfortable.

"To tell the truth, it was Corrin's idea. They know you better than I, and they're sure we could be friends if we got to know each other." Ryoma's expression clearly showed his doubts about it, but he kept talking. "And, in any case, being less distant could help the stability of our army now that we are in Valla. I thought training would be the best place to start."

You couldn't help but admit Corrin was right, and nodded at the other prince's proposal. You both went to the training field, took some practice swords and lunged at each other. Despite your natural advantage by riding a horse in battle, Ryoma was much, much faster and more agile than you had expected. It soon became a contest to see who managed to hit the other better, faster. Ryoma moved with a grace that looked like he was dancing instead, and yet you learned quickly of how deadly those delicate steps would have been had he used the electricity of the Raijinto instead of a normal bronze blade. You didn't remember who won, since at the end, every Hoshidan and Nohrian cheered and congratulated both of you equally. It had been a harsh battle, and you could remember panting a little while you got down off your horse and patted its neck as a thanks for the effort in the battle. Ryoma approached you and offered you his hand with a small satisfied smile. You were sure you had the same smile on your face. You grabbed his hand and shook it. It was the first of many friendly spars.

Since you were the prince of Nohr, you had the obligation to go to every war meeting you ever planned while you were fighting in Valla, along with Corrin and Ryoma. Sometimes, Ryoma would approach you, or you would approach him, and ask each other about this or that detail, making sure you clearly understood the plan before explaining it to the rest of the army. Sometimes you talked to each other searching for advise, knowing well that a different point of view in war tactics could greatly benefit your strategic meetings.

It wasn't long until it seemed you had talked about war as much as either of you were able to stand, surrounded by battles in Valla at every corner, and Ryoma one day simply told you about a time he had gone to a forest close to the castle to catch cicadas and butterflies in the summer when he was a child. It was a memory too intimate to share with someone he wasn't that close to anyway, but every other topic they could think of (their families, their countries, Corrin, Azura, Garon) felt too delicate, too dangerous. It would be too easy to say the wrong thing and crush the trust they had managed to build over time. So you responded in kind, and told him about a time where you found a duckling with curious blue coloration and took it to the castle with you, to keep it as a pet. You didn't realize how strange it was that they would simply let you keep an animal in the castle, even if it was in the barnyard, until three months later it suddenly disappeared and you discovered the dinner had been a bird-like animal. You cried for three days straight. You kept telling each other stories about your childhood that only had to do with yourselves or your siblings, carefully filtering the ones that would include Corrin or their parents in one way or another.

It was strange to open up to each other like that, sharing your innermost memories instead of talking about more irrelevant issues. But fighting in a strange land against a strange army to depose a strange dragon king, it felt fitting.

* * *

After the defeat of Anankos, it was as if everything had come back to life. The castle was restored, the Vallites woke up from their trance and every ruin they could see turned back into a proper village. A few fearful servants entered the castle to investigate, and found you there. The news of the defeat of Anankos made them almost cry in relief, in happiness, and they left to spread the word. More servants quickly returned, and they insisted on preparing rooms for everyone in the army, as well as a proper meal, to thank them for freeing them of the King. A few of them recognized Azura, and greatly welcomed their former princess.

Thankfully, everyone seemed to realize how tired all of you were after the battle, and the celebrations didn't last long, so you could retire to the rooms they gave you and rest. But as the Crown Prince, it was your duty to make sure everyone and everything was fine, so you first went to check on your soldiers and then on your siblings. Even if you appeared calm and happy after your victory, the truth was that seeing the dragon devour your own father as if he was nothing had stricken you to your very core. You had hoped your father would return to his former self after the death of Anankos.

Leo was reading alone in his room. You exchanged a few words to make sure he would be fine, but he would rather be alone at the moment. You nodded and left his room. Leo was introverted, not stupid. If he truly needed of company, he would seek it.

Next you went to check on Elise. It was Camilla  who opened the door and gave you a sweet smile before letting you enter the room. To your surprise, the youngest Hoshidan princess was there was well. Sakura immediately blushed when she saw you, and tried to hide her face with the mirror of her rod, intimidated by your presence. Elise looked  and pouted a little at you when she saw how scared Sakura was  of you . It seemed that you had interrupted some kind of tabletop game the three of them had been playing. You apologized for the interruption while Camillia chuckled next to you. She suggested both of you went outside to talk, and you bid farewell to both young princesses, while Elise tried to convince Sakura to resume their game.

"We will be fine." Your sister assured you. "I came to check on Elise a while ago, and found Sakura already here. They were both crying while trying to comfort each other. I managed to calm them down recently, and Sakura had just come back with a Hoshidan game and was teaching us to play. Elise is mostly irritated you made little Sakura nervous again after our efforts to soothe her."

Your expression became slightly guilty when you heard her words. "I see. My apologies, I merely wanted to make sure Elise was fine after today's events."

Camilla laughed. "I know, Xander. Don't worry about it. It looks like the Hoshidan princess is easy to startle. We will be fine."

You nodded at her, but then noticed her expression became serious. "What will you do, Xander?"

"I will go to sleep. We need to rest for our departure tomorrow to our world."

Your answer didn't seem to surprise her, but it clearly didn't please her either, because she kept staring at you with a blank expression. She grabbed one of your arms and softly pressed it. It looked like she wanted to tell you something, but that she knew you would simply argue back.

"Very well. But if you need something, feel free to come to my room, dear. Good night."

"Good night." You answered back, watching as she opened the door to Elise's room and got back inside.

You went to your room, but once you put away your armor and laid on your bed wearing only the clothes under the metal, you knew it would be impossible for you to fall asleep. The scene of your father's death replayed inside your head every time you close your eyes. You kept thinking of ways you could have saved him, but no matter what you thought of, none seemed possible in the slightest. You finally gave up, and got up. It looked like you wouldn't be able to sleep much that night. Perhaps you should take Camilla's offer and go see her, or perhaps exploring the castle would give you the distraction you needed.

A third option presented itself in front of you in the form of a knock on the door. You frowned, estranged, and grabbed Siegfried as a precaution while you approached it and opened it. Prince Ryoma stood in front of you, wearing a calm expression, a white porcelain vase with two small porcelain cups, and no armor.

"I hope I didn't disturb your sleep, Prince Xander." He started. "After everything that has happened today, I thought… perhaps you could use some company."

Ryoma raised slightly the drink so you could see it better, as if the alcoholic offering could be what you needed to make you change your mind. Despite having rejected Camilla's offer, you immediately accepted Ryoma's, nodding and stepping aside to let him enter. The Hoshidan prince smiled faintly when he knew he wouldn't be chased out, and approached the desk and put the drink and the cups on it while you closed the door. Since there was only one chair, you moved the table so you could sit on the bed while he took the chair in front of you. You saw how he filled your cup first and then his with an orange liquid. You took the cup with curiosity after you sat and examined it.

"Is this  _ sake _ ?" You asked. It didn't look like the transparent liquid you were expecting.

Ryoma looked at you as if he was surprised by your question. "Yes, of course." Then he seemed to realize something, and chuckled. "Oh."

"What?" You frowned a little. You had the feeling he was laughing at you.

He shook his head. "In Hoshidan, _sake_ refers to alcoholic drinks in general and each has its own specific name, but perhaps you didn't know about that. This is _umeshu_ , it's sweet, and doesn't have much alcohol. I thought perhaps it would be to your tastes."

"I see." You answered.

His explanation made you realize your ignorance. Nohr knew so little of Hoshido, beside the fact that they were enemies for life, that even something as simple as the word for alcohol had been turned into something different within the Nohrian borders, as if the Hoshidans were so simple they were unable to create different types of drinks. You felt slightly unsettled by that thought. How many of the few things you thought you knew about Hoshido were a lie? How many of them had been turned into a lie on purpose for the sake of inciting the nation into conquering its neighbour? You feared that answer.

By the way he looked at you, Ryoma seemed to notice the change in your mood. He looked like he wanted to ask you about it, but also as if he knew you didn't have a nice answer. You remembered he had come to you with a drink, and it was very likely he had done that with a specific purpose. You had a feeling you knew why he was there, so you thought that might as well talk about it and be done with it. His companionship may even help you feel better.

"I knew it had to happen someday but…" You trailed off while the scene of Anankos devouring your father flashed before of your eyes. "losing my father is harder than I thought it would be." You admitted to Ryoma. To yourself.

The Hoshidan Prince nodded, not even questioning why would you care about someone like Garon, someone who had gone mad due to the influence of the Silent Dragon and had tried to destroy both of their nations. Perhaps it was exactly because of that. Garon hadn't been on his right mind, but you had known him before Anankos started influencing him.

You stared at Ryoma and saw his tense expression, his hard eyes. You were going to say something, but he beat you to it.

"They weren't my parents." He said, with ferocity. As if he was trying to convince himself that shedding tears a second time for his dead parents was meaningless "Only puppets under the control of Anankos."

You remained silent, looking at him. He stared back with a hard expression, as if challenging you to change his mind. You simply closed your eyes and nodded, accepting his words the way he had accepted yours. His expression relaxed slightly, but his hands, turned into fists over the table, were shaking in anger. You didn't think  twice before putting your hand above one of them, and he didn't hesitate to accept it, softly holding your hand.

It was calloused, like you expected, but also softer that you thought it would be.

Ryoma's turmoil seemed to slowly vanish, and you saw him relax. He took his cup with his free hand and took a sip of the drink. A part of your brain thought of doing the same, but you had trouble looking at something that wasn't his lips, wet from the alcohol.

But the Hoshidan prince's face quickly became serious again and stared at you. You noticed how he grabbed your hand tightly.

"I want to ask you something you may not like. But, if from now on we are going to work towards a future of peace, I want to understand… no, I need to understand your country. Know what each of us can do to help."

It was a reasonable stance, appropriate for the future king of the nation. You nodded, waiting his question.

"Why has Nohr tried to conquer us in the past?"

Your hand unconsciously grew tighter around his. Ryoma didn't flinch, and simply grabbed you tighter, waiting for you to answer. There were many ways you could explain, but you decided to give him the simplest, fastest version.

"Because Nohr has nothing. Nothing but iron and stone."

Ryoma stared at you surprised and confused. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. There is almost no fertile soil, and the little there is has trouble growing food due to the almost constant darkness and coldness of our land. A good yearly harvest means only half of the elders and sickened people will die in winter. It's gotten to a point where, in certain places, once you're so old you can't contribute to the fields or housework, you simply leave your house and go die in the forest. Because having to feed you may very well mean the starvation of the whole family. Most of our resources come from the places we've conquered, and the only reason Nestra remains neutral is thanks to the yearly tribute in food and materials they are forced to send us."

You stopped talking. You had never truly liked the ways of your people, but had always accepted it as a necessity for survival. It was saying it aloud that made you aware of the status of your nation. Nohr wasn't a country, it was a parasite, ready to spread and destroy everything around it for its own sake. Ryoma had a horrified expression, and you were sure he no longer saw you as someone worthy of respect, only another leech ready to jump at him at any second. You felt slightly sick.

"… Why did you never ask us for help?"

"Nohr is a proud, conquering nation. It doesn't beg, only fights, and takes." You sounded a lot more bitter that you thought you would.

Ryoma stared at you with a serious expression, but you found yourself unable to hold it, and looked instead at the cups, still filled with the orange liquid. You had never felt ashamed of your country, but at that moment, you were incapable of feeling anything else.

Ryoma must have felt your discomfort because you felt his hand tightening around your s in support.

"Hoshido has plenty of food. I'm sure we could send you some and help. It could be the first step towards the peace we desire."

You looked at him, surprised at his offer, but shook your head. "I cannot ask you to put your people in danger of starvation."

Ryoma laughed, but it wasn't a happy one. "We won't. Not when we have three harvests each year. There's plenty of food we can spare."

Your eyes widened when you heard him say that. Three harvests each year.  _ Three _ . The sheer amount of food that had to be made you feel dizzy. You knew Hoshido was more fertile than Nohr, but never expected that the difference would be so great.

"I…" You didn't even know how to answer after that. It would be stupid to not accept such an offer when your country was slowly starving to death, but pride was a poison clinging in the hearts of most Nohrian elites. They would probably reject the help, and yet instigate the military even more in order to conquer such a fertile land. "It is extremely generous of you, Prince Ryoma, but I am unsure if my country would simply accept the present."

"Then, how about we make a commercial exchange? Truth  be told, Hoshido has a strong lack of good metals."

"Really?" You replied, surprise. "I do not think the Hoshidan katanas are less dangerous than any other."

Ryoma smiled, appreciating the honest compliment. "That is thanks to our artisans, that managed to use metals of low quality and turned them into worthy weapons. But the smallest mistake in the production means it can no longer become a proper blade. It would not be an exaggeration to say that half of our katanas are made with Nohrian metal stolen from the fallen bodies in skirmishes along the border."

His voice was filled with the shame and discontent you saw reflected on his face. Perhaps they didn't conquer to get what they needed, but they killed and stole anyway. Even worse, they stole from the dead, as if they were some kind of barbarians. Nohr would conquer, but the civilians were not greatly disturbed beyond the tributes they had to send to the conquering country and having their militias disbanded.

But you still felt responsible for that as well. "Perhaps you would not have such a need for iron if we had never provoked you into this tense situation in the first place."

Ryoma chuckled. "Your words are too kind, Xander, but I'm afraid our need for metals is so great the skirmishes are almost a welcome change to get them. If the Nohrians hadn't started sending soldiers, and Nohrian brigards hadn't willing crossed it to loot and raid our villages, I cannot be sure we wouldn't have been the ones crossing the border in search for iron."

You tightened your hand around him in understanding, in support. "I see. Then, that commercial trade would certainly be welcomed." You sincerely smiled and your face relaxed for the first time in what seemed forever to you.

Ryoma smiled back. It was a sincere smile as well, one that relaxed his features and made his eyes shine in hope and happiness after such a long and exhausting day. He was beautiful, and you were glad you had managed to take a heavy burden off his shoulders. He had managed to do the same to you.

The Hoshidan prince took his cup of  _ umeshu _ with his free hand and raised it. You did the same, and clinked your cup with his.

"For the start of a lasting peace between Hoshido and Nohr." Ryoma said, smiling. You said the same, smiling as well, and drank it.

The drink tasted sweet, as Ryoma had said, but it was nothing like you had tried before. It wasn't too strong either, and you liked it. You stopped glancing at your empty cup to look at Ryoma, only to find out Ryoma was staring at you while pressing his lips and trying to hold a smile. He put the cup down and started coughing suspiciously, as if he was trying to hide laughter. He was blushing as well.

"Ah… you… ahem! You are supposed sip it slowly." He explained.

You stared at your already empty cup and at Ryoma's cup, which still held most of the liquid. You also felt your face burning in embarrassment.

"Ah." You managed to express. You had drank like an idiot. "The cups were so small… I simply assumed…"

"It is alright. I should have explained, it is a Hoshidan drink, after all." Ryoma still looked like he was trying to hold his laughter, and the blush on his face seemed to intensify due to the effort. You found yourself blushing more as well, although you didn't know exactly why. At least it didn't feel like embarrassment.

Ryoma pulled his hand away from yours for the first time since you started talking, and served you another cup, explaining how you should hold it while you get a refill. You drank correctly that time, and with the tensions of the day already gone, you merely chat of customs of each other’s countrie, no longer feeling like it was a topic that could greatly disturb either of you, not after all the time you had spent knowing each other in Valla.

Your hand felt slightly cold from that moment on, but hearing Ryoma's voice made the rest of the night worth it.

* * *

You didn't actually leave the next day, as you had planned. Valla needed  a new king that would help them recover, and by Azura's request, Corrin became the next ruler. You and the rest of the army helped with the preparations. It was done fast and without much flourish; the Vallites needed help, not a waste of their resources; and you had to go back to your countries as well.

Once back at the Bottomless Canyon, the Nohrians and the Hoshidans, who had traveled together until then, slowly separated into their own groups. You and Ryoma bid farewell to each other formally as well, remembering the promise for a future of peace between the nations. You had a faint and strange ache in your chest when both of you started walking in opposite ways, but you dismissed it. The Hoshidans had proved to be great allies and good friends, but it wouldn't be the last time you would see any of them. You were satisfied with how everything had turned out.

Or so you thought, until the first night back at your castle, inside the safety of your room, you had the first dream about him. You still remembered the softness and warmth of his hand against yours, but in the dream, it wasn't relegated only to your own hand. Ryoma's hand explored your body as it pleased, and you did nothing to stop it. You woke up in the middle of the night, feeling need and panic in equal parts, and quickly got up to reach for the jar to clean yourself in the morning filled with cold water and threw it all over you. The sudden coldness made you breathe sharply through your teeth, but it also had the desired effect, and you managed to calm down. You stood next to the bed, panting, confused, while staring at the mess you had made, the puddle of water at your feet that was slowly growing with the drops that fell from your body.

It was absurd. Ryoma and you had become friends, sure. But that,  _ that _ , was absurd. It simply made no sense. You grit your teeth and shook your head. It made no sense. And, therefore, it was nothing. You had simply been too long without physical contact, and your brain had decided to provide someone you had been close the last few months for a lack of a better alternative. The moment you returned to your routine, everything would go back to normal. You simply needed to regain the reins of your life, of your country, after such a long time at war, and everything would be fine again.

Except, it didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

You and Ryoma sent letters to each other frequently. Your coronation would happen soon, and you knew most Nohrians wouldn't be willing to negotiate with Hoshido unless everything was more than hypothetical. You explained as such after you received his first answer, which showed surprise about your hurry. You also wanted to try and sign the treaty on the week of your coronation, since it was the best time. The Hoshidans would save time by not having to go to Nohr twice, and it could work as your first edict as a king. A commercial treaty to ensure Nohr's food supply that didn't involve conquering others. 

It felt like a hopeful first step.

Even if the letters you and Ryoma exchanged were ideas and suggestions rather than actual documents, once you received his answer on how much they could offer you for a certain amount of iron and steel, you immediately answered by telling him you could not accept such an offer, and demanded he make it a third of the supplies he had told you. For the moment, it would be better if the Nohrians didn't know exactly how wealthy their neighbour was. It was too risky, they were too used to conquer and take. And Nohr took, and took, and took. It would be easy for the treaty to fail if the wrong people pushed for more conquests instead of a more peaceful solution. You wanted to help your people, but you were also afraid, also aware of how easy would it be to break it before it could be properly established.

Ryoma seemed to understand, and in his next letter, he significantly reduced the amount he would give, although not as much as you had asked. You sighed when you read that. It would have to do.

The coronation day got closer, and you knew the Hoshidans would be there a few days before as neighbouring royals. It would be the perfect chance to celebrate the meeting and sign the treaty. After a lot of arguing, you managed to convince your ministers to at least make a meeting and see what the Hoshidans could offer, if not without scepticism on their part.

Their scepticism ended the moment they read the document Ryoma gave them. You already knew what was written on it, since both of you had planned the details, so you weren't as surprised. But the ministers’ eyes grew wide when they saw it, and quickly started to talk amongst themselves in Nohrian. You listened closely, but there was nothing apparently conspiratory on their words, only an almost unconditional agreement to accept receiving such an amount of food for what they thought was little iron and steel.

The Hoshidan royal family was slightly disturbed by their reaction and agitation. Not because it felt exaggerated over what they thought was only a little food, but because such a reaction meant things were worse that they had dared to imagine before. You saw Ryoma looking at them in something that appeared to be mild horror, and he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. You noticed, and made a small noise on your side of the table. The ministers didn't even notice, enthralled as they were with the possibility of more supplies, but you managed to get the Hoshidan Crown Prince's attention. You stared at him intensely with a stern face and almost imperceptibly shook your head. Ryoma stared back at you with what almost looked like a glare of frustration, but closed his mouth and said nothing. You couldn't let him make a bigger offer. Nohr would take, and take, and take.

In the end, every minister accepted the treaty and agreed to sign it, along with Ryoma and yourself. It was exactly what they needed, even if it was a different kind of food than they were not used to. Rejecting it would be absurd. You almost sighed in relief. It had been fast and there had been little conflict despite your insistence to have this meeting as soon as possible, even before your own coronation. You had doubts you would have managed to convince the ministers to agree to the meeting before your coronation if the situation in Nohr hadn't been so dire.

You went back to your usual afternoon duties after lunch, and despite the novelty of the Hoshidans staying in Castle Krakenburg, there weren't any incidents worth mentioning. Your siblings took proper care of your guests while you attended your duties. That night, just as you were finishing one of the documents that would need to be signed as soon as you were the new ruler of Nohr, you heard a few knocks on the door. You frowned, wondering who it could be at that hour, knowing your siblings and servants wouldn't bother you unless it was something truly urgent. You got up from your desk and approached the door, opening it slowly. To your surprise, Ryoma was standing in front of you with a bottle of wine and two cups. You blinked slowly when you saw him. What the hell was he doing there?

"This morning we just signed the treaty that will be the first step towards a lasting peace." The Hoshidan explained, and raised the drink he had brought with him. "So I thought we should celebrate it properly. May I?"

You wondered what exactly he meant by that. You also froze. You wanted to slam the door on his face and tell to never come back. You wanted to slam him against your bed and kiss him until dawn. You felt your heart racing against your chest, and decided it was time to say something or he would notice something was wrong with you. You blinked and managed to stop staring at his face and focus on the bottle on his hands.

"I'm going to start thinking you have a problem with alcohol." You said, but also stepped away from the door.

Ryoma laughed, and you felt your legs go weak. He entered the chamber behind you and approached the desk to leave the bottle there, but stopped with a small frown when he saw the papers, guessing it wouldn't be a good idea to put the drink above the still-fresh ink. You saw the doubt on his face, and offered the chair you had just been sitting in for him to put the bottle on. It was the flattest surface available besides the bookshelves, but it also meant neither of you had a good place to sit. You were realizing exactly that meant when you saw him approaching your bed with a curious look on his face. You felt panic rising in your chest until he spoke.

"So you do have a bed." His voice sounded as if he had confirmed some kind of secret.

You frowned, absolutely puzzled. He was looking at the bed as if it was some kind of exotic animal.

"Yes?" You didn't even know exactly what to reply.

You heard Ryoma chuckle. "We don't have beds in Hoshido. We simply extend a  _ futon _ over the  _ tatami  _ and sleep on it."

"So you sleep on the floor?"

"Of course not! We sleep on the  _ futon _ ! It's… like a thin mattress, I guess."

"And why don't you just make a proper bed?"

"Why would we want that?" Ryoma replied, with a smile. "A bed can't be undone. You need to give it a permanent space in your room. But a  _ futon _ is much smaller. You can simply put it away at morning and use the floor for something else. Chamber's don't need to be as big for you to have plenty of space to do whatever you need. A bed means wasted space."

You still frowned at how uncomfortable that seemed. "Sounds to me like everyone in Hoshido has back problems and catches many colds."

"I assure you we do not. But I will admit most of our constructions are made with wood, so the floors are not nearly as cold as the ones with stone in Nohr."

Neither of you was clearly willing to admit the other was wrong, so you simply rolled your eyes and opened the wine bottle to change the subject. It was white wine, you realized while you poured on both cups and offered own to Ryoma. He accepted it, and gave you a cautious smile.

"Since we don't have more chairs, can we sit on your bed? Unless you have cushions to kneel on the floor."

"Why would I have cushions to kneel on the floor?"

"That's what I thought."

You sighed, guessing it was either a bad joke or more Hoshidan cultural nonsense. You felt too tired to deal with more differences between your countries, and just nodded to him and sat on your bed. He did the same, sitting next to you. He raised his cup and you followed, toasting for the success of your treaty. He sipped his drink and you did the same, trying to focus on the conversation. Ryoma was talking again about his childhood. You asked him a couple of questions, and then told him something about yours.

You slowly fell into an easy conversation. You talked, and talked and talked until you went to refill your glass and discovered the bottle was empty. You hadn't drank more than a couple of cups, which meant Ryoma had drank most of the bottle. You stared at him, worried, and realized he was heavily leaning against your arm while giggling, his face blushing so intensely he looked like he was suffocating. The Hoshidan prince moved his head to look at you with his eyes half closed and an easy smile. You made the mistake of looking at him. Your mouth dried when you saw him, and you silently prayed to the Ancient Dragons he didn't look at your crotch.

It was probably a good time to end this friendly reunion.

"Prince Ryoma, this has been very entertaining, but I think it's time we rest."

Despite your words, you didn't get up to see him off. You hoped he wouldn't notice.

Ryome frowned at your words, and clumsily patted your back. "It's not that late, Xander. You need to be less serious, really." He complained.

You breathed deeply. "You're drunk. Please, go and rest."

"I'm not drunk." He replied, and got away from you to refill his cup. He stared at the bottle of wine and blinked slowly at it when no liquid poured from it. He touched his face. "Alright, I may be a little drunk." He conceded, unhappily.

He sighed and got up, smiled warmly at you while softly bowing his head and left your room. 

"Night, Xander."

"Good night." You answered, while he closed the door.

You counted to ten, then you got up and locked the door. You threw yourself back onto your bed and furiously got rid of your clothes. There weren't words to describe the shame you felt while you pleasured yourself thinking of the smile your friend had given you, but you couldn't stop.

* * *

You barely slept the night before your coronation, scheduled two days after the meeting. You must have looked awful that morning, despite your frequent problem drifting off, because Peri stared at you in worry even after you had cleaned your face that morning and insisted on putting on some of her makeup to hide the worst marks. You felt too tired to even complain, admitting to yourself that perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. You were supposed to look your best on the day of your coronation, to impress your guests as well as all the people that would congregate in front of the main balcony for your speech. You still warned her to not overdo it. She smiled brightly at you when she realized you agreed to her proposal, but nodded, accepting your conditions.

You had to admit you looked like a wreck, and you weren't entirely sure why. You were somewhat nervous for the coronation, even if you had unofficially been governing Nohr for the past few months. You were worried about the future of your country, despite Ryoma's promise to try to make things better for both Nohr and Hoshido. You were nervous about the festivities and accomodation and enjoyment of all of your guests, since Houses from afar would be coming for the capital to spend several days there. And knowing of the Hoshidan family’s presence didn't do much to calm your nerves either.

You got dressed for the event —an elaborate, black surcoat with golden details and the Nohrian emblem on the front, two gold armills on his arms showing the Dusk Dragon painted in black; golden, decorative spurs in your black boots and the Siegfried hanging on your hip. No circlet this time, for you would be given your rightful crown during the ceremony.  You distinctly remember the weight of the crown on your head and the weight of the black royal mantle with white fur and the Nohrian emblem your father had once wore over your shoulders, but everything else, from the act to the speech to the banquet itself was like a blur on your head once it ended and you suddenly found yourself on the king's chambers, your new bedroom.

It was spacious and lavishly furnished with an extravagant bed, several bookshelves, fur-covered armchairs close to the fireplace, and extravagant canvas and tapestries all over the walls depicting previous military victories. The space felt incredibly cold and oppressive. The sun had set, it was starting to get late and you felt awfuly tired, but the thought of staying in that room any longer was unbearable. You got out and wandered in silence around the hallways until you got to the royal garden. Once you felt the fresh, cold air on your skin you took a couple of steps outside and breathed deeply for five seconds. You felt a little better, calmer, after you did.

The garden was another statement of the Nohrian harsh soil and cold weather. The great majority of the space had been used to grow food and medicinal plants that could help feed the royal family and servants that lived in the castle, leaving a very small portion for flowers. Only cyclamen and pansies, as well as ivy climbing one of the inner walls, were able to survive for long periods of time in the castle. You couldn't say you particularly liked that part of the garden. It was a sad sight compared with what you could find in a southern place like Cyrkensia, and you had always thought the dark marks of the pansies were mildly disturbing.

"Xander?"

You spun around instantly, startled by the sudden voice behind you. Ryoma stepped back as well, slightly startled by your sudden reaction. You stared at each other in silence for a few seconds until you cleared your throat, embarrassed.

"My apologies. I did not hear you approach, Prince Ryoma."

He smiled at you. The hard look on his face disappeared while his thin lips lengthen and went slightly upwards while the muscles around his eyes changed almost imperceptibly and his eyes softened. You had to tear your eyes away from his face before he noticed you were staring too intensely, and looked at his clothes instead.

With the stress of the ceremony, it was the first time you actually looked at his clothes. Ryoma seemed to be wearing some kind of shirt with long and wide sleeves and knee long pants made of white silk with white leggings, covered with golden patterns of clouds, and black shoes covered in what looked like bear fur. He also wore some kind of red, long jacket with a delicate flower pattern in the inside of the cloth, and a river on the outside. It also showed the symbol of Hoshido embroidered to the frontside and the backside. The Raijinto hanged at the side of his hips.

It was the strangest clothing you had ever seen, and he seemed to notice the curiosity in your eyes. He chuckled.

"Do you know what I'm wearing?"

You sighed, resigned to your own ignorance. "I'm afraid it's most likely I do not. The only Hoshidan clothes I know are the  _ kimono _ ."

Ryoma smiled even more than before, as if he had already been expecting the answer.

"It's a  _ yoroi hitatare _ with a  _ jinbaori _ ." He explained, grabbing the side of the jacket and showing it better when he said the last word, making sure you understood what was which.

"Ah." You answered. You were sure you would forget those words in less than five seconds, despite your best efforts.

You noticed then he had kept talking, but you had no idea what he had said. Your brain hadn't registered anything else, and he was staring at you with a frown on his face. You managed to realize he was worried or upset about something.

"You've been acting weird since the ceremony. I thought it was the stress, but you don't seem better now. Are you alright, Xander?" He asked, with genuine worry.

No, you were not.

You had a country to fix, to save from absolute collapse, and there was little you could do unless you got help from your neighbours, most of whom you had been oppressing for years. You had to prepare a stupid ceremony for something that would only mean more wasted money and resources, money and resources you did not have. A ceremony that meant the final confirmation of the death of your father, a man you had loved, but who you had lost a very long time ago, long before you managed to open your eyes, and realized for yourself that the father you had known was no longer there, replaced by a puppet, a monster. A ceremony that meant the arrival of the person that had turned your private life into an utter wreck, bringing more pleasure and shame you felt you were able to stand.

You wanted Ryoma to be there with you and comfort you about all the losses and hardships you were enduring for the sake of his country. You wanted to put him on a carriage and send him away as fast as you could, forbidding him from setting foot in Nohr again for as long as you lived. You wanted to stay in the garden all night. You wanted to go back to your new chambers and lock yourself inside. You wanted time to stop forever in that moment, away from your responsibilities, the pressure you felt, and simply stare at the night sky with the company of your friend. You wanted it to be morning already never stand in the courtyard again. You didn't know what it was that you wanted.

And right there in the garden, that night with a few clouds that allowed you to see a shining, waning moon among the thousands of stars, wearing the strangest yet most expensive clothes you had ever seen on him, with an expression framed with a worry directed at you, emphasized by the shadows from the moonlight, you couldn't help but think that Ryoma was beautiful.

You kissed him.

You pressed your lips against his, firmly, but caringly. They were soft and warm, and you noticed a sweet scent similar to plum coming from his clothes and hair. It was better than any of the dreams you had before, but also more ephemeral than any of them, because he didn't move and you suddenly realized what you were doing.

You stopped and stepped back, your face painted with horror and shame while he just stared back at you blankly. You apologized profusely for your behaviour, turned around, and left. You ran. You fled through the stone hallways, in a daze, your heart beating so fast you almost had trouble breathing. You thought you heard him calling you, but you didn't stop, not until you realized you were in front of your old room again. You entered and locked the door, sitting heavily on the chair and putting your hands on your head.

What had you done? You had acted like some kind of impulsive teenager, some irresponsible child that did nothing but follow his whims. You hadn't been a king for a full day and yet, you had managed to make the worst political mess imaginable. Hoshido would certainly refuse the treaty now, insulted as it had been. And your people would continue to slowly starve until the death of your country. And, to make things worse, instead of trying to apologize again, to beg him to continue with the exchange of resources, for the sake of your people, you spent the next day drowning yourself in work and documents to avoid him as much as possible, even insisting on eating in your room despite the blatant disrespect it showed towards your guests with the excuse of not feeling too well after suddenly abundant meals of the celebrations. You only saw him again briefly two days later, before him and his family would go back to Hoshido, during a small farewell.

You spent the next days and weeks working without rest to put order again on your country, while trying to pretend a terrible letter that would dash your hopes for a better future wouldn't arrive sooner or later. Your siblings were clearly worried, but you were adamant, and insisted that you were fine, and your tiredness was simply due to the stress of ruling a country. To your surprise and relief, the first shipment of food arrived a week and half later, with exactly the quantity that had been established in the treaty, and even with a small quantity of wood as a present.

You ordered the immediate distribution of the supplies among the closer areas to the capital, to ensure the safety of the next shipment once it was sent through the roads to the places where it was needed most. Yet, you didn't allow yourself to hope there would be another shipment, and tried to ignore the petitions of your ministers who insisted on making another commercial treaty for some wood in exchange of stone.

You spent your days working nonstop as the new king of Nohr to distract yourself from your fears, while at night it was more impossible than ever to sleep. Ryoma's lips haunted you in dreams, and you woke up again soon after you had fallen asleep, and were unable to go back to your bed. Each day you felt more tired than the previous one, but still insisted on taking care of all of your duties by yourself, despite your siblings worried faces.

* * *

"Xander!"

You woke up with a jolt and immediately felt something wet and sticky falling on your arm. You had fallen asleep on your desk and, startled, had knocked off the ink bottle over your arm and part of the documents. You stared at the mess you had made over the papers, while a part of your brain yelled because of the perfectly good shirt you had just ruined.

Leo was standing next to you, with his arms crossed and a frown on his head. He stared, waiting for an explanation. You had never fallen asleep while you worked.

"I'm merely tired. There is a lot of work to do for the kingdom." You explained.

Leo didn't look impressed by your answer. You had said it so many times recently that, while true, it was starting to sound like an excuse. You saw your brother closing your eyes and breathing deeply, as if he was restraining himself from saying something he shouldn't.

"Xander," He started, then. "You're my brother, and I love you, but you're an utter idiot."

You stared at him, puzzled by the unprompted insult he had thrown towards you. Leo didn't elaborate. He simply got closer, put a letter on the desk, and left without saying a word. Your eyes fell on the paper tied with a red and golden cord to ensure its privacy, and the blood inside your veins turned into ice.

It was the official invitation to the Hoshidan coronation of the Crown Prince Ryoma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't help but think I went a bit too far with the cultural differences in this chapter, but this part basically wrote itself. I wanted to reach the end but more words... kept comming... they never ended... I wrote more, and more, and more... This was supposed to be the second part of the last chapter, but the words didn't stop! 
> 
> Everything is obviously inspired by Japan's traditions and costums, but I pulled the ceremony itself out of my ass because I didn't like what I found researching, haha. 
> 
> Well, I hope you like it!

The three day journey to the Hoshidan border felt too short, the anxiety of seeing Ryoma again after the incident on the day of your coronation was eating you from the inside. You tried to pretend everything was fine, but weren't entirely sure of your success. Sometimes you noticed Leo staring at you over the book he read, and there were times where even Camilla threw you a mischievous smile, but none of them ever said anything.

The change in the terrain and the foliage became more and more apparent when you got to the border between the countries, but once started travelling deeper within the roads, the change in the environment left all of you in awe. It didn't matter where you put your sight, meadows and meadows of bright grass and trees covered the landscape, as well as hundreds of rice fields covered with water. Even the mountains you could see in the distance were covered in plants unless the peaks were so high they were covered in snow. The rivers twisted and turned down the hills, nourishing the plants. The villages you passed close to had dozens of people happily working on the fields, that sometimes stopped to watch you passing close with a glint of curiosity on their eyes. And, above everything else, the sky was clear, the sunlight falling gently all over the place.

Valla had been green, but Hoshido was _alive._

Ignoring the warnings on your heads about how dangerous it was for a king and his royal siblings to travel out in the open without the protection of an army, the four of you got out of the carriage to ride your mounts and enjoy the bright Hoshidan day. Both you and Leo had trouble at times with your horses, which didn’t seem to believe they were in such a green place and were stubbornly trying to stop every few steps to eat some of the grass. Your retainers had to help you convince the animals to keep going so you wouldn't waste too much time. You didn't even realize Elise had gone ahead on her own until she came back with a bunch of big, red flowers, and told you a local had called them camellias and helped her stopping her horse from eating all of them, and had given her a few as a reward. You were going to admonish her for doing something so dangerous in a foreign country, but she offered you one of the flowers before you could talk with the happiest expression you had ever seen her make in your life. She left you to give the rest of the flowers to your siblings and her retainers before you could answer her.

The day you arrived, the castle took your breath away. Not because of the building itself —an impressive construction in red and white—, but because of what surrounded it. Hundreds of trees in bloom gave the illusion of having the castle lay atop pinkish cloud of petals, and the only possible entrance seemed to be a tunnel completely covered in hanging purple flowers that filtered the light in different colours.

It was as if the Hoshidan capital had decided to turn itself into an ode to nature, beauty and elegance. You had a hard time tearing your eyes away from the view. You had always thought the Hoshian nobles were frivolous and perhaps even irresponsible. But with such abundance of resources, who wouldn't want to turn things into beauty, to enjoy life instead of simply survive?

To your surprise, you weren't welcomed by Ryoma himself, but two of his siblings, Hinoka and Takumi. They apologized for Ryoma's and Sakura's absence, but as the future king, Ryoma had to spend three days purifying himself before the coronation, and therefore he could not be visited by anyone except the priests and priestess of the land. And since Sakura herself was one of the priestesses of the main temple at the capital, she would be part of the ceremony, and had to prepare and help as well.

You barely had time to feel bored or anxious during the couple of days you had to wait until the coronation because Elise stole all of your time. Or, at least, the time you didn't spend in your guest room diving among your documents. As much as you were there to enjoy the festivities, you still had a lot of work back home, and you made sure you brought some with yourself and that the slow but steady recovery of Nohr wouldn't suffer a sudden stop, if only for a few days. You were still sure that something would go wrong at some point and you would lose all the help Hoshido had been willing to offer, so you wanted to make sure Nohr would suffer as little as possible when that happened.

But several hours after the sun had risen—not only did it shine much more than in Nohr, but you had confirmed over your trip that dawn happened many hours sooner than it did home—, your youngest sister opened the sliding door of your room without knocking with a bright smile and urged you to go explore the gardens with her. You still had plenty of work, but it wasn't something you could finish in merely a day. You figured a break would help you in the long run, and nodded at her, smiling when she took your hand and pulled you out of your room.

The garden was beautiful, if completely different from what you were expecting. It was full of grass, bushes, ponds and a river with a red bridge, and even full grown trees in bloom and moss in a way that made impossible to know where the garden started and the wild nature began. But it was beautiful still, a place in which nature was respected and praised as what it was, not changed until it suited the tastes of a few. It put the sad patch of flowers of the Nohrian castle to shame.

You explored the garden closely following Elise while she kept pointing at plants she discovered while you nodded and tried to discover what they were exactly with her. Both of you seemed to spend more time watching the beauty of the garden that you realized, because your stomachs started rumbling. Elise laughed while you went back to the entrance, and a couple of surprised servants approached you, informing you that lunchtime had started a little while ago and were looking for you. You apologized profusely, explaining you had been exploring the beautiful garden.

The servant smiled when she heard that, and told you it would be perfectly fine for both of you to have lunch there, since eating while admiring the garden was a frequent and acclaimed aristocratic activity. Elise accepted even before you could speak, and the servant quickly retired and came back with two rectangular trays filled with several covered dishes. You sat in front of Elise and uncovered the plates to discover a grilled fish with steamed vegetables, a bowl of rice, a bowl with some kind of brown soup and white dices and small plate with some vegetables that, if you were being completely honest, smelled weird. You noticed the quantity was generous, and definitely bigger than what you had been able to offer to your guests during their stay at your coronation. Shame started biting at your chest, only to be quickly replaced by confusion and panic when you found no fork on the trays, only a couple of wooden sticks.

Your sister must have noticed your confusion, because she giggled and offered to teach you how to use the chopsticks. Apparently, she had learned while they fought against Valla; Sakura and her had shared several meals and the Hoshidan princess had taught her. And while you were aware of the fact that the Hoshidan used different utensils to eat, you had spent most of your time with your own troops. The fact that they may not give anyone forks at the coronation banquet didn't even cross your mind. Elise laughed at the likely anxious expression you had, suddenly sure you would make a fool of yourself in front of every Hoshidan noble in a couple of nights, and grabbed her chopsticks to show you how you should hold them. When she started eating you noticed she had some trouble with the rice, but she clearly had a lot of practice you lacked. You had trouble even grabbing the cut pieces of fish and vegetables, and briefly thought of the irony of starving in a country brimming with food.

Elise giggled at you and you were embarrassingly slow, but in the end you managed to eat without making a mess of yourself, if the same could not be said of the tray in which the food had been brought. You noticed Elise had dropped some rice on hers as well, but it was a lot cleaner than yours. You apologized profusely at the servants when they returned, even when they assured you it was alright.

You went back to your chamber and continued working until you heard a knock on the floor. You opened it to find a servant kneeling in front of you while showing you a tray with what seemed to be dinner, and then leaving after bowing at you. You took the tray inside and valiantly fought against the food until you manage to eat everything. When you finished, you bitterly realized it probably was the first time in your life you felt your stomach full twice the same day, but your thoughts were interrupted by another knock. You got up with the tray in your hands, expecting the same servant ready to retrieve the plates, only to find one of your sisters standing in front of you.

Camilla told you the baths were ready, and Leo and Elise were going to clean themselves after such a long journey. You accompanied her, wanting to spend some time with your siblings after such a long day. To your puzzlement, once you were there you also learned thanks to Elise that the three of you were supposed to wash before you entered the water. Leo tried to reason how absurd that was, but she was so adamant, insisting that was how Sakura had told her, the three of you had no choice but to obey her. Once your sisters managed to wash off their seemingly endless hair, you could finally enter the hot bathtub. So hot, in fact, you immediately felt like boiling, and neither you nor Leo could stand staying there for more than five minutes, running away with a skin so red you looked like you were having a heat stroke. You couldn't understand how your sisters simply giggled at you from the boiling water.

The next day, your work was interrupted again, but then it was because of Corrin, who had finally arrived with Azura for the coronation. You were happy to see them again, since you barely had time when your own coronation happened. They were with you the whole day, sometimes asking you for advice to rule Valla and sometimes guiding you through the castle and showing you some spots they had liked during their brief stay before the death of the Hoshidan queen. 

* * *

When the ceremony started, you were guided to the throne room and sat at the sides on a cushion, with your siblings and the rest of the Hoshidan nobles. Soon after that, Sakura and Ryoma entered the room and walked towards the throne. The young priestess wore a more elegant version of her usual white and red clothes, with a white jacket with very long sleeves and embroidery flowers and a floral hairpiece. She held a bigger and more elegant version of her usual rod in front of her, while leading the line. After her, Ryoma walked slowly, dressed in what seemed a triangular, red jacket with loose red pants with the crest of Hoshido embroidered on the back and the front, and what looked like a white _kimono_ under the triangular jacket. It was so simple compared to what he had worn during your ceremony, yet so similar to his uniform in the last war, you couldn't stop staring at him. A few more priestesses walked after them.

Once they reached the stairs to the throne, Sakura and the priestesses walked until they were next to it, but Ryoma knelt downstairs, keeping his head low. Sakura raised her rod so the mirror would reflect the sunlight. Then she said something to Ryoma in Hoshidan that you were unable to understand. He answered her, and one of the priestess went downstairs and gave him the item she was holding, a red and white banner, and then she knelt behind him. Sakura asked something again and Ryoma answered in return, and a priestess approached him and gave him a ceremonial naginata; and then a yumi, and a sword. And then, to your surprise, he was given a black box that looked like a seal, and also an elegant fly-whisk dyed in red and white.

Sakura talked to Ryoma once more, for longer than she had until then. Ryoma gave an equally long answer, and then Sakura took her rod and pulled out the mirror. She slowly descended the stairs and stood in front of her brother, but instead of handing him the mirror, she put it over his head like a tiara, and stepped aside while hanging her head in respect. Ryoma then stood up and walked the stairs until he sat on the throne. He spoke in Hoshidan with a loud, powerful voice, and the nobles of the hall answered, all of them at the same time.

With the ceremony over, Sakura and Ryoma left the hall before everyone else, and only after them did the rest of the nobles start getting up and walking away. When you tried to move, you discovered you had trouble feeling your legs, and it was impossible for you to stand up. Your siblings were trying to keep composure and avoid twisting in pain for the same reason, even Corrin. It was when the room was almost empty that you heard snickers and found Takumi and Hinoka approaching you while trying to hide their laughter. They helped the four of you to stand up again and gave you some tips for the following dinner so you could at least walk once it finished. You and your siblings had a hard time hiding your horror when you were told you would have to sit that way again for hours, which only made the Hoshidan royals laugh harder.

They guided you to the dining hall and to your seats, which were quite far from the front, where Ryoma sat. Despite being a king, you and your siblings were at the lowest rank for being foreigners, and the Hoshidan royals briefly apologized for sitting you so far from the important place. You assured them, telling them you completely understood how important it was to not upset the other aristocrats. And while you didn't say it, you were secretly grateful your little corner was hard to see for the other nobles… as well as all the struggles you and your siblings suffered while trying to eat with the wooden sticks.

The banquet was formed with many small tables, one for each guest. Each table had the full course carefully placed all over the surface, and there was even a small boiling pot next to each table. There were more types of food in your tiny table than had been at the banquet on your coronation, and when you had managed to eat half of your food, a few dozen of servants arrived and gave you even more vegetables and fish, to let it boil slowly in the pot next to you. You had trouble finishing all the food, but you made sure you forced yourself to eat everything. With how scarce it was in Nohr, leaving food uneaten was a great disrespect to the ones who had served you. If there was something you truly didn't like, it was preferable to ask the people eating with you if they would be willing to exchange their food with you rather than leaving it there. The poor Elise was absolutely unable to eat more than half of her plates, and she looked like she was about to start crying in embarrassment.

Both you and Camila were trying to assure her it would be alright when a servant arrived and stared at you in amazement. Elise quickly apologized for not eating everything, but the servant shook her head and explained they were not expected to eat everything in the banquet. They only had to eat what they liked most, or as much as they could. The rest would be served to their servants or retainers, or used to feed the animals at the farms. Some of the nobles even left untouched dishes on purpose they knew their servants or retainers greatly favored. The four of you looked around and saw that, indeed, no one else there seemed to have fully eaten their food.

And not only that, but the banquet wasn't over, and the servants were there to take the trays with your meal and bring tea, colorful sweets and fruit and alcohol as a final dish. The servants promised they would save you your desserts so you could enjoy them the next day, to the immense relief of your youngest sister. And when the servant put your tray with food and drinks in front of you, you were forced to keep your face neutral when you noticed they put a slip of paper in your hand. You discreetly grabbed it and hid it within your clothes. Neither you nor your siblings managed to eat anything else, but at least you drank almost everything that you had been given. Once everyone had finished, Ryoma got up and delivered a short speech in Hoshidan, everyone toasted, and the ceremony was over.

You and your family were again the last ones to exit the hall, due to numb legs.

"The Hoshidan food supplies are helping us greatly, but I hope we never adopt this tradition in particular." Camilla complained while massaging her legs, trying to be able to stand again.

Leo's and Elise's groans showed their agreement. A few servants approached you to help you stand again, and you finally managed to exit the hall. Despite the hour, the sun was still in the sky, and it would be for a couple of hours. It would be hard for you to sleep with that much light, so, once in your room, you took that chance to read the paper you had been given.

_Meet me in the garden pond once the sun sets._

Your stomach dropped when you read that. There were few Hoshidans you knew, and even fewer that would have sent you such a message. You wouldn't have needed to spend much time wondering about who it could have been even if the writing was unmistakably Ryoma's. You folded the paper into a tiny ball and threw it over your luggage. You noticed your breathing and heart rhythm increasing, while the anxiety threw at your brain terrible images of the broken commercial treaty and your people slowly starving out until a civil war broke through and Hoshido took the chance to attack and conquer you. But you were the new king, and it was your duty to face the new ruler of Hoshido. You closed your eyes and breathed slowly, counting to ten. You did it over and over until the sun disappeared under the mountains and it became dark. Then you exited your room and went to the garden where you had been with Elise.

It didn't take you long to find Ryoma, still wearing his formal attire, standing next to the water. He seemed to be smiling when he saw you, but as you approached him, his relaxed expression slowly disappeared and was replaced by a soft frown. You felt your own face rigid as a stone when you got closer to him and bowed slightly.

"Lord Ryoma." You greeted.

He didn't answer immediately, which was undoubtedly a bad sign. You instantly started going through all the apologies, excuses, and promises you had thought of since the terrible mistake you had made at the day of your coronation. You had spent many, many nights unable to sleep, thinking of ways to convince him to not break the treaty. You would double  the iron and stone sent to Hoshido, you would teach them your ways of war, you would give them the technology and magic to replicate the golems and any other things they could possibly want. But he had to keep the treaty. Nohr needed it, your people needed it!

"Let me guess," Ryoma's voice made your train of thought derail while your sight suddenly focused on him. "You're imagining all the terrible things that will happen from now on because of your little kiss. And I thought that sending you wood would be enough proof of my intent to keep the commercial exchange."

You stared at him, not fully believing what you were hearing. He chuckled at your expression.

"Don't look at me like that. You were the one who ran away before I could say anything and spent two days avoiding me."

You were going to say something when Ryoma suddenly got closer to you and smashed your lips with a ferocity and hunger that could only match your wildest dreams.

"My chamber is at the highest floor of the main tower and there is a secret entrance in the wall opposite to the bridge. Is this enough of an answer or do I have to ask you to help me out of my clothes?"

You kissed his neck, inhaling the soft perfume of unknown flowers that covered his clothes and skin, still recognizable despite a full day of ceremonies and feasts. You might have gotten a little hard.

"I…" You started. You were blushing and you didn't know if it was of embarrassment, of pleasure, or both. "may be a little negative." You admitted.

Ryoma cracked, laughing when he heard that. When he calmed down, he took your hand and swiftly guided you through the dark hidden corridors. You were sure the heart in your chest had become a swarm of butterflies. You felt lighter that you had in weeks, almost as if you were floating instead of walking upstairs with Ryoma's hand on your own.

You felt a small pang of disappointment when you entered your room and you saw it was not very different from the one you had been given: a greenish floor of straws sewed in rectangles and a thin mattress directly on the floor.

You didn't have more time to think about Hoshidan decoration because Ryoma started to kiss you stupid and you forgot all of your complaints about the floor and the mattress for that night.

* * *

You woke up thanks to the blinding light in the sky. You had to close your eyes immediately after opening them and put an arm over your face, slightly hurt by the sudden brightness. It took you a few minutes to grow adjusted to the light that made it look as if it was noon on the brightest summer you had ever lived. When you managed to open your eyes and look at the sky, you realized you were in Ryoma's private quarters. That meant you were in Hoshido, and you had no idea how you could estimate what time it was. However long you had slept, at least you felt well rested, better than you had felt in months, in fact. Even if half of your body was on the _tatami_ instead of the small mattress. You turned your head to find Ryoma soundly asleep with almost all of his body on the floor. It looked like his hair had won a silent battle for the right to sleep on the _futon_. You still didn't understand how he could be asleep with that much light pouring from every corner.

There was a sudden knock at the door, and suddenly you were aware of how very naked you were in the very private quarters of the new Hoshidan King. But silence fell again, without any other disturbance. It seemed enough to wake Ryoma, who slowly opened his eyes and yawned, and sat up.

"Breakfast." He declared, still with a drowsy smile. "I hope you are hungry."

"I'm… really not." You admitted. You had eaten way too much the previous night.

Ryoma stared at you with a soft frown. "You ate everything at the banquet, didn't you?"

"I did…" You admitted.

Ryoma chuckled at you, and you blushed slightly, feeling embarrassed.

"Sorry, I should have told you."

He kissed you as an apology and you accepted the soft touch, putting your arms around his waist and pulling him closer. He leaned his head against your shoulder while you stroke his hair. It was surprisingly soft, and you briefly wondered how much time he spent combing it.

"I can't believe Hinoka's plan worked." You heard him mutter.

"What?" You asked, with rising anxiety inside your chest.

"Ah." Ryoma blushed. "Well, it seems that… the day of the coronation we weren't alone at the castle garden. It turns out that both your brother Leo and Hinoka saw us, and had been sending letters to each other about this matter. They seemed to reach the conclusion they had be the responsible siblings and do something about our obvious crush. They told me to give you the paper and tell you to go to the garden."

You stared at Ryoma, hardly believing Leo would have schemed behind your back. Then again, the last months you had been drowning yourself in anxiety and shame. If you had to be honest, you hadn't been completely aware of everything that was happening around you. In fact, it seemed you had been so distracted you hadn't even noticed your brother sending and receiving letters to the neighbouring nation… You gave out a muffled noise in embarrassment.

But despite everything, you closed your eyes and retrieved your hand from Ryoma's hair. Your face turned serious when you talked to Ryoma again.

"You know we can't do this." You said.

You tried to be adamant about it, about how both of you were king of kingdoms that had been at war until recently, about how you would need to fulfill your duties as rulers. It felt punching a mirror and watching it shattering in front of you. But Ryoma didn't seem to react to your words, still tracing a circle over your chest with one of his fingers.

"So what?" He said.

You stared at him. He was a king now, someone with the responsibility of a whole kingdom under his shoulders. What did he mean?

"We can still see each other in the meetings and conferences that we will have every year."

You frowned at the indecent proposal. "You. You can't be serious."

But to your dismay, Ryoma got away from your shoulder and stared at you. His expression became completely serious.

"Yes, I am. I'm not telling you to forget your country or what you must do for it's sake. I'm only saying it's hard enough to get true happiness when you are born in a position as ours. If I have the chance to get some, I want to grab it, not matter how small the reward is. Or would you rather have nothing?"

You didn't answer. You couldn't. What you wanted and what your morals told you clashed in your head and left you unable to think. Ryoma seemed to notice your unease, and softly put his hand around your face, softly stroking your cheek with his thumb. You didn't know if he was trying to calm you or if it was a tactic to try to weigh the balance in his favor, but you leaned into the touch while breathing slowly for ten seconds. Perhaps you were just letting the anxiety get to you, perhaps it was truly the best option both of you would get, perhaps Ryoma was right.

You slowly opened your eyes and kissed Ryoma again. His lips were as soft as they had been last night, and he hugged you back while he leaned on the soft _futon_ again. You laid together, kissing and making the most of what little time you could get for yourselves.

That morning, the world could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not pictured: the next morning*
> 
> Xander: Leo, what the hell?!
> 
> Leo, still reading his book: You're-FUCKING-welcome.


End file.
